


Falling for U (peachy!)

by heyitssnek



Series: Thou, the Flowers Far From Me (Taagnitz Hanahaki AU) [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Projecting onto Taako (The Adventure Zone), Awkward Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Dork Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Fluff and Angst, Gen, Graphic Depictions of violence because yknow, Hanahaki Disease, I just wanna sleep, M/M, POV Taako (The Adventure Zone), Rated teen for language, Taako Has Issues (The Adventure Zone), bluh, but still, coughing up flowers is bloody, for almost two hours, from a gdoc, fuck i’m so tired, i just wanna love my boys, im a dumbass, ive been working all weekend, thankfully i was just copying it, who didnt save the draft after working on typing it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26824900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitssnek/pseuds/heyitssnek
Summary: He was an Elf. He was a Half-Elf. Can I make it any more obvious?He was a gay. He’s also gay. What more could I say?One of these boys coughs up flowers! Which one??? Who knows??
Relationships: Kravitz & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), Lup & Taako (The Adventure Zone), Magnus Burnsides & Lup, Magnus Burnsides & Taako
Series: Thou, the Flowers Far From Me (Taagnitz Hanahaki AU) [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1956646
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	Falling for U (peachy!)

**Author's Note:**

> Fantasy Jesus fucking christ ive finally finished this fic series. y’all dont understand, i started this in february. 9 drafts (at least), an entire rewrite, and so much internal crying. 
> 
> beta’d by the wonderful [@The_Red_Reality](https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Red_Reality/pseuds/The_Red_Reality)! He is my very good friend and one of two people that I actually talk to regularly anymore. (THANKS COVID)

The first time Taako ran into the cute, fancy Half-Elf boy, he was staring at the shelves upon shelves of cookbooks, panic slowly spreading across his features. Taako was at the other end of the row, looking for resources for a sorbet he was workshopping and decided to throw him a bone. 

“You lost there, kemosabe?” Taako sidled up to him, a couple of ice cream cookbooks in his arms. 

He started and whipped his head towards Taako, his long dreadlocks slapping him in the face. “Oh, Taako, I—um, no. I’m fine, I think?”

Taako was in _trouble._ This guy—dressed in a full black three-piece suit with a wine-red tie—was _hot._ Not only could his cheekbones cut steel, the vitiligo pattern across his forehead and cheeks looked as though someone had painted his skull directly onto his face. 

He laughed, his long ears straight up and turned towards Fancy Man. “It sure looks like it to me, bubala. Did you have something in mind when you came over to the cooking section?”

“Well, uh, I-“ Death Boy cleared his throat. “What I mean to say is, I, um, got tired of eating frozen dinners and instant ramen, so I wanted to find some easy recipes to try?”

“Oh, well then _this_ bad boy,” Taako reached up and around the Half-Elf, “Should do you some good. _The Easy College Recipes Book._ Buncha easy recipes that even the most incompetent can’t fuck up.”

“Uh, thank you, Taako.” He stared at Taako, holding the book close to his fashionable chest. “Why are you helping me?”

The light, flowing scarf that was settled across Taako’s shoulders shuffled as he shrugged. “You looked like you needed it. Enjoy your not frozen dinners!”

With a wave of his hand, Taako walked off.

The second time, Taako was skeptical, but still chalked it up to coincidence. He was looking for a sweet salsa recipe to go with his signature breakfast burritos when Death Boy wandered over next to him, scanning the various cookbooks. 

“Uh,” Taako said. Eloquent, he was not. “Howdy, again?”

“Oh, hello, Taako, I didn’t see you there,” Hot Bone Boy said, trying to act nonchalant by glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. 

“Uh-huh. Did you...” He dragged out the word in lieu of a pause. “Need? Something?”

“Well, ah, it’s my mother’s birthday this weekend, and she absolutely adores chocolate, so I thought I’d try to make a cake for her, but I really don’t know which recipe is the best,” He explained sheepishly, ducking his head. 

“Why didn’t you just use the internet? Fantasy Google exists for a reason.” Taako had no idea why he was acting so standoffish. 

“I like reading paper instructions better. Plus, in cookbooks, there’s usually not a ten-page essay on the author’s great-grandfather’s pulled pork. You know how it is.”

Taako snorted, leaning on the bookshelf as peals of laughter shook out of him. “Sure, dude, I’ll take your word for it! Honestly, though, you could pick out any of the cake recipe books and find a decent recipe, it’s not that hard.”

“Oh, uh, alright.”

“Well, I’mma head out. See ya later, dude!” Taako waved as he walked away. 

The third time was _definitely_ deliberate. He barely even tried to hide the fact that he was looking for Taako.

Yet again, Taako was in the cooking section. As a Transmutation major and Culinary Sciences minor, it was not an odd place to find him. _However,_ Taako had seen ~~his~~ Hot Skeleton Boy walking out of the music building carrying a large case, so he—as probably a music major of some sort—had _no business_ being in the cooking section this much. Taako wasn’t even looking for anything in particular, just scanning the books for something that caught his eye when Death Boy appeared at the end of the row of bookshelves. He visibly brightened at the sight of the brightly colored Elf, but Taako was having none if it. 

When he reached him, Taako was tense, his ears folded back against his head. He snapped, “What do you want?”

The Half-Elf’s smile faltered. “I-I’m sorry?”

Taako internally winced. Too harsh. He let his ears fall to a neutral position, sighed, and said, “Sorry, sorry. Did you need something?”

“Well, ah, no—not, not really, but y’see, I—”

“Are you stalking me?”

“No?”

Taako hummed shortly. “Please leave me alone, then.”

“Oh.” Taako had never seen a man look so crestfallen. “Um, okay, then. Bye.”

With that, Death Boy shuffled off. 

The fourth time, _Taako_ found _him._ He was sitting at a table with a notebook and earbuds connected to a small electronic keyboard in front of him, frantically scribbling down— _something_ _._

So Taako plopped down in the chair next to him and waited for Death the Half-Elf to notice.

It took an entire four and a half minutes before Taako got extremely bored and poked Death Boy’s shoulder, making the man start and whip towards him, his earbuds yanking out of his hears. 

Taako winced in sympathy, waggled his fingers at Reaper Man and said, “Heya, Handsome. Whatcha workin’ on?”

“Taako,” The man practically sighed his name, seemingly having forgotten their last encounter. “What’re you doing here?”

“Came in to do some homework, saw your gorgeous mug over here. Thought I’d stop by. Whatcha workin’ on?”

Skeletor flushed, ducking his head. He reached up and tucked a loose dreadlock behind his twitching ear. His ears were considerably smaller than Taako’s own and moved much less, but still had some expression in them. “It’s uh. It’s nothing. Just a little project for my composition class.”

“Neat, neat,” Taako trailed off. His ears moved back, flicking around as he fidgeted with one of his rings. 

“Mhmm,” He hummed awkwardly.

“I, uh, I wanted to say that it wasn’t cool of me to at like that, last time we saw each other. I was having a rough day, and it seemed, y’know, kinda...weird, that you, like, sought me out? I snapped, and that was rude,’ Taako said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Death boy waved him off. “It’s understandable, water under a bridge and all that.”

Taako nodded. A thick pause followed before Taako cleared his throat. 

“So, do I get to know your name, or do I gotta keep referring to you as Death Boy or ‘that hot Half-Elf music major who I keep running into in the cooking section’ in my head?” Taako asked, pretending to be disinterested by observing his nails.

“Oh my gods, it didn’t even occur to me that you didn’t know my name—I mean, uh,” He cleared his throat, a blush covering his cheeks, “I knew who you were—because who doesn’t know Taako and Lup and the rest of the Birds, and-and uh, I’m just the weird death guy and you definitely wouldn’t know me. I. Uh. Yeah.”

Taako snickered. Death Boy was a _dork._ “Hachi machi, Reaper Man, I just asked for your _name._ ” 

“Right, right. Name. Mine, uh...” He stumbled over his words, unsure. 

“Yeah? One word? Or two? Or more, who knows. I only have one, myself. But, yours?” Taako prompted. 

“It’s, uh, Kravitz,” _Kravitz_ —fitting, somehow—wiped his palms on his slacks and stuck out a hand to shake. “Kravitz MacAllister. It’s a pleasure to be formally introduced.”

Taako took the proffered hand. “Taako Taaco. The pleasure is all mine.”

Kravitz blinked. Then he snorted, doubling over. “Your first name is-is your last name?” He asked in between chuckles, “Taako Taako? Spelled the same and everything?”

He couldn’t help but join in. “Not quite, kemosabe. T-A-A-C-O is what I put for my last name. The high school I graduated from needed one, and I panicked!”

This just caused Kravitz to laugh harder. “But that’s so ridiculous! Is Lup also ‘Lup Taaco’?”

“Nah, she was smarter than me,” Taako laughed, “She did Lup Loop, spelled L-O-O-P!”

They locked eyes for a silent second. It quickly broke as they burst into loud guffaws. Taako ended up falling onto the worn carpet and rolling on his back. They couldn’t get themselves to stop even after several harsh shushes from one of the librarians. 

Eventually, though, Taako was able to pull himself back up onto his chair. Kravitz was wiping tears from his cheeks.

“Thats—” He let out one more breathy laugh. “You two are _strange._ ”

Taako raised his eyebrows. “Pot and kettle, baby.”

Kravitz grinned. “That’s fair.”

“Hey, Bone Boy—”

A dark, young human woman with close-cropped white hair walked up to them, interrupting Taako. 

“Oh, hey, ’Creesh! What’re you up to?”

“Taako, you know I work here part-time.”

“Yeah, and? You just wanted to say hi?”

“Well-I-no. Uh. My manager actually told me to kick you guys out. You’re disrupting other students who’re trying to work.”

“Aw, shit, deffo my bad. I made Kravitz laugh.”

“Just...leave in the next couple minutes, okay?”

Kravitz cut in, quickly gathering his belongings and shoving them into his shoulder bag. “Yes, I understand, I’m very sorry. I won’t let it happen again.”

He grabbed Taako’s arm, pulling him out of the building. When they got out onto the large front staircase, Kravitz sat down.

He pulled his loose dreadlocks into a bun on the back of his head and ran his hands down his face. “Holy shit.”

“What?” Taako stood next to him, confused. His ears perked up curiously.

Kravitz laughed, sounding almost hysterical. “I’ve, uh, never—never, um.”

The realization hit him like a truck. Taako laughed and said, “You’ve never gotten kicked out of a library before!”

“Well-well, I mean, there’s a very good reason for that!” Kravitz cried indignantly.

“Yeah, Death Boy? Spill.” Taako dropped onto the step next to him. 

“My mother runs the library. In-in my hometown.”

“Ah,” Taako nodded in understanding, “Mama’s boy. Gotcha.”

“No?” Kravitz said, waving his hands in front of him has he spoke. “I just grew up in a peaceful setting with a good relationship with my mother, a very cool woman who owned a library and eventually ended up running it with my step-mom! I never had a reason to get kicked out of a library!”

Taako just laughed. 

**— v —**

A few days later, when Taako was fondly reminiscing on the few times he’d interacted with Kravitz, he found his windpipe blocked. He coughed, trying his damnedest to dislodge whatever was causing it. He coughed, and coughed, and _coughed._

A final, rattling cough and there in his palm lay one glistening, soft, white rose petal. 

**— v —**

Taako was _definitely_ making this more dramatic than it needed to be. He was fully aware of his actions.

“Taako, you’re not _dying_ —” Magnus was trying to get him out of bed for his 8 AM Gastronomy class.

“Mmm,” Taako sing-singed, “say that sentence again, homie. I am one- _hundo_ percent dying here.”

“Oh, please,” Magnus rolled his eyes, “you have a bit of a breathing problem, _so what_? You can still go to class.”

“I think I’ll stay here.”

“I will pick you up and carry you across campus. I physically can _and_ will!” Magnus reminded him.

“You, my large Human friend, can take your abnormal amount of strength and shove it up your ass!” Taako stuck a hand out of his blanket nest and flipped his roomie the bird. “But hey, be my guest, my dude. Free ride to class, no skin off my ears!”

“What-that’s—no!” Magnus spluttered, “That’s not even the saying!”

“It is for Elves!”

“And you know this _how_? You know, like, one other Elf.”

“ _Au contraire,_ I know _plenty_ of Elves. They’re just all pompous, stuck-up assholes who happen to be genetically related to me, therefore I choose not to interact with them! And also, this school has, like, a hundred other Elves.”

Magnus huffed. Taako thought he’d won, but then Magnus said gleefully, “I’ll call Lup.”

Taako bolted upright and stared at Magnus, aghast. His ears pressed against his head in terror. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” He grinned, eyes sparkling with mischief. He held up his Stone of Farspeech to show Taako Lup’s contact information displayed on the screen.

“Don’t you fucking _dare_.”

Magnus hovered his thumb over the ‘call’ button.

They stared each other down. Magnus’ finger got dangerously close to pressing the button. Eventually, though, Taako broke. He threw his hands into the air and groaned loudly. 

“Fine! I’ll go! But for the love of Pan and all beings in the Celestial Plane, if you call Lup I will Magic Missile your ass so hard your great-grandchildren will feel it.” Taako pulled himself out of bed and started changing. 

Magnus laughed loudly at Taako’s empty threats as he walked out of the room. Taako assumed he was off to his own class. 

Taako grumbled quietly to himself as he dug through the piles of clothes on the floor, picking out the least dirty things. With a steady stream of complaints both internal and external, he made his way across campus. He ended up sauntering into class a little bit late anyways.

**— v —**

Taako was _not_ expecting Kravitz to be waiting for him when his class was done. Spotting him leaning against the wall by the building’s doors startled him so much that several petals burst forth in his mouth. He coughed like he’d just choked on a drink, but kept walking—electing to ignore the very stylish and attractive Half-Elf Death Boy for the time being.

He managed to make it halfway down the block—quickly stuffing the petals into the pocket of his jacket—before he heard fast footsteps behind him.

“Taako!” Kravitz called. “Taako, wait up!”

Taako kept walking. 

Kravitz caught up to him, concern written all over his face. Taako’s ears pulled low, his right tilted towards Kravitz subconsciously. 

“Did you not hear me calling your name?” Kravitz asked, attempting to catch his breath while also lengthening his strides to keep up with Taako.

“Oh, hey, Reaper Boy,” Taako said, looking at Kravitz in his periphery. His pace didn’t slow. “Yeah, uh, didn’t hear you. Sorry.”

“That’s. Uh. That’s okay, um. Can we—can we slow down?” Kravitz tugged at his collar, sweating. Worry shined in his eyes. 

Taako took a deep and shaky breath, trying to swallow back the petals that threatened to spill from his mouth. He swallowed and said, “No can do, kemosabe.”

He failed to elaborate. 

“Taako,” Kravitz grabbed his elbow, pulling him to a stop.

Taako pulled his arm from Kravitz’ grasp and growled, “What?”

“What’s up with you?” He asked, “You—we—I-I don’t understand! Just last week we were laughing and joking and having a great time, and now you’re-you’re—”

“I’m _what_? What _exactly_ am I, Kravitz?” Taako spat through his teeth, trying desperately to keep the petals caught in his throat from bursting from his mouth. 

“You’re indifferent! Cold! Flippant! One day, we’re accidentally-on-purpose meeting every other day, and then nothing! Radio silence? Uh, hello, Faerûn to Taako!” Kravitz was frantic, gesturing with his arms and pacing back and forth in the middle of the sidewalk.

Taako’s heart ached. Whether from the flowers growing in his respiratory system or from seeing the man he-he _loved_ so broken up over him, he didn’t know. All he did, though, was take as deep of a breath as he could, cough once into his palm and said;

“Maybe because Taako doesn’t _do_ feelings.”

He through the handful of white petals in Kravitz’ direction and stalked off, leaving him in stunned silence, half a dozen rose petals scattered on the ground around his feet.

**— v —**

Taako wasn’t drowning his sorrows in homemade ice cream, no siree! Definitely didn’t break into the culinary building to use their ice cream makers to make as many tart sorbets and sherbets as he could! 

(That was exactly what he did.)

As soon as the ice cream was finished and in large Fantasy Tupperware containers, he scurried back to the dorms, up three flights of stairs, and slammed the door behind him. 

By the time Magnus got back, Taako had eaten all of the lemon sorbet and couldn’t feel his tongue.

“Oh, boy,” Magnus sighed, long-suffering. “Taako, not again.”

“Stuff it, Mags. I’m trying to ignore my feelings for a very hot, very dorky, music major Death Boy. Would you like to join me?” Taako coughed, a few petals falling and joining the pile on the floor.

“Who?” Magnus tilted his head, confused. He looked not unlike a large puppy.

“Oh, just this really gorgeous Half-Elf guy who I seem to have fallen in love with,” Taako sighed dramatically.

“Huh,” Magnus said, suddenly disinterested. “Great.”

“Are you even paying attention to me?” Taako rolled over on the couch to see Magnus—still standing in the doorway—tapping away on his Stone.

“Uh-huh. Definitely.”

“I’m gonna go set the dorms on fire with Lup’s help.”

“Have fun.”

“I had hot, raunchy sex with Merle Highchurch.”

“That’s good.”

“I fixed my fucked-up Fantasy Gogurt spell.”

“Neat—oh, yes!” Magnus punched the air, grinning. “What were you saying?”

“Welcome back to the Material Plane, Mango.” Taako rolled his eyes.”

“Sorry, just had to talk to Lup for a second. See if she could find your boy.” Magnus shrugged.

“You did _WHAT?!!_ ” Taako screeched. 

“Oh yeah, she’s gonna drag him over here so you two can discuss _feelings._ We’re staging an intervention!” Magnus’ smile was _way_ too gleeful for the situation he had placed Taako in. 

Taako flopped onto his back, pressing his palm heels into his eyes, his ears hanging limply around his face. “I can’t believe you. Taako doesn’t _do feelings_!” 

Magnus laughed. “Well, I’m sure your sister isn’t letting you die just because you wouldn’t talk to a boy.”

Taako grumbled a bit under his breath, but otherwise said nothing else.

Magnus sat down on the couch next to Taako, scooping out ice cream and watching garbage Fantasy Netflix shows with him. They both jumped when the door slammed open, the silhouette of gangled limbs and long hair darkening their doorway.

“Taako!” Lup yelled, stepping inside. Kravitz nervously peered in the door behind her.

“Lup! Dearest sister of mine, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Taako replied, sweating.

“Taako, you _fucking dumbass_!” She stormed over to the couch and picked Taako up by his jacket. She couldn’t really hold him off the floor since they were the same height, but it was no less intimidating.

Taako chuckled nervously. “Lulu, what’s up?”

“You know _exactly_ what’s up! You-you’re killing yourself because you won’t talk to _that boy_ over there!” She let go with one hand to gesture towards Kravitz, who was cowering, understandably terrified of an angry Lup, still outside on the stairwell. 

“So fucking what? Not like he feels the same way!”

“False, _extremely_ false! He—wait.” Lup stopped and let go of Taako. “Sorry, entirely unrelated, but is that my jacket? My high school letterman’s jacket? _My_ letterman jacket, which you _strongly refused_ to get one of your own because you said, and I quote, ‘they look stupid and only jocks get them anyways’?”

Taako shrugged. “What can I say? It grew on me.”

Lup rolled her eyes and whacked him upside the head fondly. “You’re a fucking useless homosexual. I’m going to leave now, and you’re going to _talk_ to Death Boy over there. If I haven’t heard that y’all at least _kissed_ by tomorrow, I’m gonna charbroil you.” She sparked a ball of fire in her palm for dramatic effect. She then snuffed it out and waved towards Magnus. “C’mon, Mags, let’s give the gays some space.”

“No, uh, no promises, Lulu, but I will try to be, y’know, _not_ dying. Please don’t burn me alive, burnt Elf doesn’t taste good.” Taako grinned at her. Even with all his bravado, his knees were weak and his ears shivered like leaves in the wind at the prospect of actually _talking_ to Kravitz.

Lup started walking away, apparently satisfied for the moment. She bared her teeth, looking slightly feral. “Great! Seeya tomorrow, ‘Koko!”

“Yeah,” Taako muttered as she trotted off, Magnus on her heels. “Tomorrow...”

**— v —**

Kravitz sat in a chair opposite the couch that Taako had sprawled himself out on. He stared intently at Kravitz, eating up every inch of his appearance as if trying to burn the image into his mind’s eye. 

Kravitz, on the other hand, was very insistently looking anywhere but Taako.

“You’re thinkin’ too loud, bubala.” Taako said. “I can hear you from here.” He punctuated the statement with a cough, adding a few more petals to the scattered pile on the floor. 

“I—” Kravitz paused, thinking. “Uh. You—earlier, um, I—”

“I’m gonna stop you right there,” Taako cut him off. “Think of what you’re gonna say, then say it. ‘Cuz I sure as hell ain’t.”

Kravitz nodded and took a deep breath. “Earlier, I stopped by your class and waited for you.”

“I recall.”

“I, uh, I was gonna. Gonna see if you wanted to go get-go get coffee—or-or something. Y’know. As-as a date.” Kravitz said, his eyes still flicking around the room. 

Taako’s eyebrows raised, the only emotion showing on his face other than feigned indifference. His ears, on the other hand, perked up slightly and tilted a bit more towards Kravitz.

“But, uh, then you kept walking, faster and faster—you wouldn’t stop, it’s, um, it’s like you were trying to escape from something. And—uh. I _know_ you heard me calling, even though you said you didn’t.”

“Really? How’s that?”

Kravitz flushed and ducked his head. “Your-your ears,” He pointed to Taako’s ears, which were flicking around nervously. “Your ears gave you away. They’re so—so _expressive_ , it’s. It’s one of the things I-one of the things I love most about you.”

Taako’s ears pressed back against his head as he gasped loudly. He couldn’t _breathe_. He needed _air,_ he couldn’t breathe—can’t breathe, no air—

Help.

_Help._

_HELP!_

Through the ringing in his ears, Taako could hear a faint voice frantically telling him he was going to be okay, he just needed to _breathe_.

And then he could.

In the back of his mind, he registered soft, full lips against his own. His face was wet, too—but he didn’t remember crying.

When his eyes fluttered open, the view was full of skull-face. Kravitz. Taako reached up to stroke Kravitz’ cheek—his thumb came away wet. 

_Ah._ He thought briefly. _That’s where the tears came from._

Kravitz let out a sigh of relief. A shaky smile passed over his features as he said, “Oh, Taako. I thought I’d lost you.”

Taako laughed, but it sounded strained, even to him. “Takes a lot more than a couple’a flowers to kill me, kemosabe.”

Kravitz laughed too, broken in half by a sharp sob. “You-you were almost _gone_ , Taako. I was so scared.”

He brought his hands up to cup Kravitz’ cheeks, gently wiping away the fresh tears that were falling “C’mere, Bone Boy. You ain’t rid of me yet.”

As Taako pulled Kravitz down for another kiss, he realized that Kravitz tasted faintly of roses.

**Author's Note:**

> did i make you cry??
> 
> i live off of your tears.
> 
> and also kudos, comments, and bookmarks! they give me motivation to write my next fic! (its a taakitz selkie au thats CHOCK FULL of headcanons!)
> 
> my [TUMBLR](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/issnek) for random things and my [TUMBLR](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/heyitssnek) for art and my [INSTAGRAM](https://www.instagram.com/heyitssnek/) for art  
> call me out if you see any mistakes. this is beta’d, but that was in the gdoc stage, i coulda slipped up in transcription (cus i didn’t wanna copy/paste cuz i’m a loser)


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